Drabbles/Ficlets

[idea_of_sarcasm]

Happy Birthday to you, happy birthday to you....well, the fics are perhaps a bit late. And kind of lame....and written really fast...(and I'll stop making excuses now, except to say I really can't write voices in the 'Firefly' universe. Tossing in a few 'gorrams' just doesn't seem to do it :D).

But, well, for minisinoo - it's nice to get at least some kind of "present" isn't it, like you asked for? The thought was there in writing these, I swear. Two little ficlets, and a drabble. Firefly/HP - the things you'd never thought you'd see.

Drabble #1
Characters: Cedric, Mal


"Define crashing," Cedric said, knuckles white as he held onto the front board in the cockpit. What he wouldn't give for his broom right now. Or his wand so he could apparate properly out of this death trap. But both had been lost. Where, he didn't know. All he could remember was Peter Pettigrew casting a spell and then he'd somehow ended up here. Many years in the future. And with muggles. Muggles who thought they knew how to fly.

"Ship hits planet surface," the captain of this death trap's tone was matter of fact as he played frantically with the controls, "ship explodes."

"Comforting," Cedric remarked dryly, though he was wanting to vomit right about then. This was nothing like facing an avada kedavra - at least then he could defend himself. Here, he was at the whims of nature and the insane man behind the controls.

Mal continued absent-mindedly, "Wasn't meant to be."

Alarms continued to sound, and the captain was barking orders to the crew to strap in, they were in for a dangerous landing. Cedric made sure his seatbelt was tight - and really, how did muggles trust these things? - for the millionth time. He wasn't supposed to die like this. He was supposed to die back home in England, in his own time, preferably at the ripe old age of 210. Not here with random strangers, who cursed and spoke in a bastardized Chinese he didn't even have the translation spell capability for to understand.

He supposed he looked as bloody terrified as he felt, because Mal glanced over at him, yanking back on the steering column to try and pull them further up - casting a wide grin even as they plummted to their demise. "Don't worry," he said, sounding entirely too amused, "we're too pretty to die.

Cedric supposed that was meant to be reassuring, though he had the giddy thought whose kind only came in a moment of extreme panic that perhaps that was why he was here. Why had had been saved from death by a death eater. Why a spell had mysterious backfired to send him to the future. Because he was too bloody pretty to die.

Didn't that beat all.


Ficlet #1
Characters: Kaylee, Inara, Cedric


It was depressing to think of exactly how long it had been since she'd been stimulated by anything that wasn't her own hand or battery operated. 'Course living on a ship made it hard to meet people, but there were attractive single men living on the ship. Well, the cap'n was out. He was like a brother – she might have said daddy, but she already had one at home who would have walloped her for the direction her thoughts went. Plus, he was Inara's, no matter what each one said. But that left Simon didn't it? Though the shagua thought about her in the same lines as his sister it seemed.

She'd had some hopes when they'd got the new traveler on board. They'd picked him up on Persephone, and though he'd had some odd tendencies, he was nice. Sweet. Pretty. Really pretty.

And he was another one who wouldn't look at her twice.

"Jing-tzahng mei yong-duh," she muttered under her breath, cursing the uselessness of him. He'd been enough to make her stop mooning after the doc for a spell, for all the good it did her.

Inara's hands stilled from here they'd been brushing her hair. She'd come up here after a frustrating afternoon of watching Cedric trail around Zoe like a besotted fool. Time with their resident companion never failed to make her feel better. "I can stop," the older woman remarked, and Kaylee could hear the amusement in her voice.

" 's not you," she said with a sigh, relaxing as the hands continued their ministrations, "it's just...lonely out here in the black."

"I don't think you mean that in the theoretical sense," Inara with a smile in her voice, "though the point's been made."

Comfortable with the other woman, and knowing she wouldn't react with violent opposition like Mal did every time she let something personal slip, Kaylee heaved her chest defeatedly. "I wish I was a companion like you. All fancy like, and a different man whenever you wanted one. Being a mechanic don't attract no suitors, or even some trim."

"Worrying about the good doctor again?" Inara began to style her hair in the way she liked – though would look ridiculous when working on an engine, "He's got his sister, mei-mei. And River is a...handful. I don't think he would notice if anyone got down to the buff and stood in front of him."

Kaylee's voice was gloomy, "No, it's Cedric. He's got eyes only for Zoe. I'm mean, not that I can blame him. I'd want her if I didn't like boys so much. But it's pathetic, the way he follows her around. Like he's begging for her attention. I think he'd challenge Wash to a fight if he thought it would impress her."

"Ah, our mysterious traveler with the unknown past and the ability to make things out of thin air," the other woman replied with a knowing look as Kaylee tilted her head back to her. "Well...I won't deny he's a bit besotted..."

"It's more than a bit," she interjected bitterly.

"Maybe he doesn't know your interest," Inara offered, though her tone didn't sound into it. Not that surprising considering she could read other people. She probably knew that Cedric was half in love with their second in command.

"What more can I do?" Kaylee sighed, "Pull off my dress and offer to sex him up? I don't understand it. Before I came on this gorram ship, I could get the boys to pay attention to me. I mean, yeah, sometimes it was just for trim, but I can't even get that here."

For once Inara's tone was severe. She turned the younger woman to face her, "Mei-mei, you must stop thinking so lowly of yourself. Just because we're on a ship with some of the most ignorant hwoon dan," – and Kaylee knew she wasn't just talking about the two younger men, "means nothing. You're the sweetest gir..woman I know, and beautiful in your own right. You don't need to dress it up to be worthy of any man. And besides," she smiled slightly, "men are overrated as it is. But...self confidence Kaylee. That's what drives men to Zoe."

"That and the fact she has more power in her pinky finger than I do in my entire body?" Kaylee raised her eyebrows with a wry smile.

"That too," Inara agreed with a laugh, "but it's not just that, you know it. And if either of these young fools are right for it, it will work out. Otherwise it might be a random meeting on Persephone that leads to it. Or maybe some rebel alliance fighter. You never know."

She turned back around continuing to let the other woman work on her hair, "So...self confidence, huh? Don't suppose I could just dazzle them with my engine knowledge instead?"

"Well, that might attract a certain kind of man," the older woman conceded.

Kaylee was about to lament more on her problems, when there was a knock on the door and Cedric entered, glancing about before looking embarrassed. "Sorry," he said, abashed, "I'm still getting turned around on this bloody ship. I thought I was entering the mess hall. Didn't mean to interrupt your..." He waved his hand, "Whatever it is you're doing."

He turned to go, but Kaylee scrambled to her feet, leaving Inara's hands in mid air for a moment. "'S allright," she assured him, trying to consider how this self confidence thing differed from her usual demeanor. "We don't mind, do we Inara?" She didn't even look back to see if the other woman had agreed or not, just smiled along.

She tried to imitate Zoe's cocky pose, but was sure she was looking like a downright fool. Instead she tried for Inara's quiet grace, though she wasn't sure it was coming off any better. Leaning slightly towards Cedric, she kept her eyes locked on his. "I could give you a tour around you know," she hoped her voice wasn't too breathless, "there's so many nooks and crannies on Serenity you could get lost for days. I could give you the…orientation, the cap'n surely didn't. After all," she tried to smile coquettishly, "nobody knows the ship berr'n me."

"Anything," perhaps sounding like a common whore wasn't the right approach, "you need...or want...I could give you a hand."

"Actually," he began, looking thoughtful, "There is something I was wondering."

"Yes?" Kaylee tried not to sound too encouraging.

Cedric lifted his hand, rubbing the back of his neck. "Well, I had actually been hoping one of you might know where Zoe is. See, I was going to check and see if she wanted..."

Kaylee could have almost been amused by Inara's chuckle when she slammed the shuttle door in Cedric's face, if she hadn't been so irate. The flabbergasted look on his face could only give her so much satisfaction.


Ficlet #2
Characters: Hermione, Zoe


"You call him 'sir'?"

The statement of the bushy haired girl behind her that was filled with – she wasn't deaf – a slight amount of derision, caused Zoe's head to turn the moment Mal had left the kitchen area to return to the bridge. Hermione had – for the first time since she had come aboard Firefly – sat there quietly at the table while she conversed with the captain, only to speak now that he had left.

"Yes," Zoe answered simply, her eyebrows raised. She walked over to the table, and stood there with arms crossed, watching the younger woman. It had been initially Mal's decree he would look after the time traveler who had appeared on their ship, but two days, and three instances where he almost broke his rule about hitting a woman, he reassigned the job to Zoe. He would have inflicted the assignment upon Jayne, but he would have just tried to get some trim. With her, he had a chance violence might occur. Apparently there was a limit on the number of times a man could be told by a jing-tzahng mei yong-duh female how to fly his gorram ship

Hermione looked dubious, "Why?"

"Respect." The girl had an affinity for questions, that rivaled the Alliance' best inquisitor's.

"But it's demeaning," she was saying now, oblivious to the true meaning of the word 'respect' apparently, "I've watched you these past few days Zoe, you should bow down to nobody. You took down two Reavers on your own, while Mal was knocked out by the butt of a gun on the first try. You could run this ship, and I think you should run this ship," Hermione's expression mirrored Simon's in it's disapproval of the captain's reckless style, "But you put yourself under his 'rule'. Just because he's a man."

Hermione also had a knack for stating her own opinions, even if they'd get her put out of the airlock by a less patient person. "He's the captain," Zoe's tone didn't betray the amusement she felt.

"But he's..."

"The captain," she stressed, picking up an apple the girl had managed to transfigure with her little stick from some protein powder, and grabbed her knife to cut it up, feeling that signified the end of the conversation. Hermione, had other ideas.

"And that signifies...what, exactly?" Her tone was almost as cross as it was curious, "Captain of the ship or not, that doesn't make him infallible. Well, I'd argue in his case it makes him the opposite. I mean the way he almost got caught by Badger's men – and the less said about that man's intelligence the better. It's not that I want you to commit mutiny, but the way you call him 'sir'..." Really, she was sounding like Wash had on his bad days. "And ask his permission..."

Zoe took pity on the girl, actually answering rather than sitting there in impassive silence. Because such ignorance deserved addressing. "We fought in a war together. I trust that man with my life. And he is the captain, and it is his ship. And to me that deserves respect. And he doesn't dictate my life."

"Yes he does," Hermione argued, "if you disagree with him, he emphasizes that. It's his ship..."

"Which it is."

That took her aback for a moment, before continuing, "But that doesn't mean he shouldn't take into account others opinions..."

"He does."

She could tell her short answers were beginning to frustrate Hermione. "But not all the time. When Inara..."

Zoe cut the younger woman off again, "Listen, Hermione. Someone's gotta be the end of the line. And I repeat. It's his ship, and I won't be disputing that. Do I like everything the man goes on about? No. But I'm not always right either."

It looked like another argument was on her hands, and she let out a heavy sigh. This was more talking than she'd done in months. "Listen, isn't there somebody that you respect like that? That you'd trust with your life, that you'd trust to be under their command? Because if you haven't found somebody you respect that much, I feel sorry for you. Gender, it don't matter."

That seemed to stop her for a moment, and Zoe watched as she chewed on her lower lip for a moment. She seemed to be remembering something. "Well, there is Harry. But I mean...well, okay, I had him lead Dumbledore's Army, despite the fact it was my idea. And I knew more spells...but he had the experience. And he was the boy who lived, so people would listen to him...and, okay, I let him when he decided to finish off Voldemort on his own, even though it made no sense that he couldn't have help. And I kept the secret of the Horcruxes even though again there were people much better qualified. And we faced every kind of danger together..."

As she felt the need to continue on with a multitude of examples, Zoe nodded in satisfaction, finally thinking she had gotten through. That Hermione could understand why she could stay on this ship, and why she offered Mal the respect she did.

"But I don't accept his orders on blind faith," Hermione finished up though, "and more often than not he ends up listening to me because...well, he and Ron couldn't tell the difference between a knarl and a kneazle. If it wasn't for me we'd be dead years ago."

Zoe was going to interject and point out that it wasn't like she never opened her mouth on this ship, and if it wasn't for her Serenity would have gone down in flames years ago – that showing respect, and not having to be the 'boss' didn't negate that. And that Mal wasn't an unreasonable lout. After all, he'd allowed her to live despite marrying Wash hadn't he?

"And I certainly don't call him 'sir'," Hermione cut her off derisively.

Sighing, she tossed down the knife and her apple core, getting up from the table to go visit Wash on the bridge. The girl was the most dense and stubborn hoetze guh peegoo she'd ever met.

And she'd flown with Jayne Cobb.