idea_of_sarcasm: (twins)
idea_of_sarcasm ([personal profile] idea_of_sarcasm) wrote2008-06-19 12:05 am

Drabble the fifth

At least the driving aspect of things is done on my move - and now that I've recovered from my heart attack over gas prices, and have my eyes open for at least another ten minutes, another in the list of "drabbles" I have yet to finish. Not exactly DH compliant

If It Ain't Broke, Don't Fix it

"Well, I don't know – it seemed like a good idea at the time," Fred said almost petulantly, crossing his arms in frustration.

Hermione's look was incredulous. Walking over to the bed, she grabbed the leather contraption that was somehow suppose to be an outfit and the riding crop that were laying there. "You thought these were a good idea?" She shook the items inches from his face, forcing him to take a really good look at one of the suggestions he'd brought home to introduce into their bedroom activities. It was a tame reaction to the one she'd initially had when he'd took the first of – she could only euphemistically call them 'toys' – out of the deceivingly innocuous bag he had brought home.

"Uh...yes?" Fred began to look a little trapped.

She was about to go off on a rant again, but a thought that niggled at the back of her mind came to the forefront, and she forced herself to calm for a moment and ask the question seriously. "Perhaps I've missed something in all the time we've been together, but is it really one of your deepest desires for me to dress up in that scary outfit and act the dominatrix? Have you always fantasized about the use of butt plugs, or bondage equipment?"

Already she was trying to look at everything he'd brought home assessingly rather than with condemnation. Hermione couldn’t say any of the items excited her, but at the same time, if that was something he actually wanted, she should try and make an effort. He indulged her wants after all. Perhaps they weren't as kinky as this, but if this was what he wanted, she did want to satisfy him sexually given that she did love him. She could broaden her horizons, maybe take a few strong shots of fortifying firewhiskey first.

"No, it's not," at the seemingly honest response she felt a tremendous amount of relief however, "but I just thought that after all this time that..."

Hermione raised her eyebrows, "That our sex life was unsatisfying?"

At that point Fred started to bear a striking resemblance to a yellow-bellied Slytherin being held at wand point with no escape in sight. "No, of course not, but I mean it has been a long time together and..."

"Nothing says happy anniversary like a nipple clamp or some anal beads?" Hermione remarked, looking at the items it had taken her a few glances to realize what they were.

Fred shook his head with a roll of his eyes, taking the plunge of stepping a little bit closer and taking her hands in his. "Hermione, love, I was not attempting to corrupt your puritine self – well, perhaps a little, nor was I suggesting in any way that our love life is inadequate. I love our sex life, I revere our sex life, you are a sex goddess," he waxed on in half dramatic, half serious fashion, trying to reassure her.

"But," he qualified, "oh, that all important 'but'. I would rather, how shall we say, nip complacency in the bud. Not that I think there's anything wrong," he hastened to add, "but it's just that we've gotten in a little ickle bit of a rut and...oh bollocks, I'm not exactly saying this correctly."

Hermione had to concede that he might have a little bit of a point, when she managed to grasp the meaning of what he was suggesting. At least in the generalities – but it was inevitable when you had a monogamous sexual life, that sometimes things were rather the...same. "We could maybe add a little spice into the bedroom," she agreed, but then her gaze slid over to the toys he'd bought from some little out of the way shop in Diagon Alley, and she couldn't help but blanch slightly. It was just that she didn't find the thought of using any of them arousing really, nor in some cases even capable of faking it.

"But maybe I just went about it in slightly the wrong way?" Fred said with a wry smile, following the direction of her look. "Not like I bloody well know anything about sex toys, but these came highly recommended by the bint who ran the shop, so I went with them. Besides, I wanted to get out of there before anybody saw me - George would take the piss for at least a year, and Mum...oh Merlin, if she were ever to know...." That thought was hardly appealing to Hermione either, even if she had found a receipt from said shop shoved hastily away in the washroom at the Burrow on one visit – an occurrence that had scarred her for life she was sure.

"I'll read a book," she promised, sure that the answers to their dilemma had to be found in some kind of instruction manual. "And you'll return the items."

She was also sure there had to be answers that didn't involve sado-masochism. 'Spice' did not have to equal pain or humiliation or general 'icky'ness in terms of what she wasn't comfortable with.

"Until that time," Hermione murmured, sliding one hand under Fred's shirt before letting it begin to trail down the front of his jeans, "we'll improvise. Let it never be said there was a problem I couldn't solve."

It might not involve the insertion of foreign objects into any orifice, but already she was picturing a few of the never-worn ties that hung in his closet that would function just brilliantly in tying his hands to the bedposts.

Requested by: [ profile] drcjsnider Prompt:Broken

Nope, not really where I was planning intially on taking this one, but the Weasley twins have, temporarily at least, been put through the emotional wringer enough times from me.


[identity profile] 2008-06-19 01:50 pm (UTC)(link)
Ah... I like this. I especially enjoy Hermione's willingness to 'discuss' the matter. And I'm glad to see that Fred hadn't turned to s&m for not apparent reason. Thanks so much for the story!
ext_23449: Book addict icon (george offself)

[identity profile] 2008-06-19 09:15 pm (UTC)(link)
You're welcome! And though I normally dislike self-depracating comments - I'll offer one here in realizing this wasn't one of my *cough* stronger offerings. But, regardless, I'm glad you liked it to some extent :)

Next time I'm just going to go with what my brain wants to write...

Or accepting fluffiness of a sort can actually be a good thing rather than fighting it *snort*

[identity profile] 2008-06-20 03:02 pm (UTC)(link)
This was just brilliant.

ext_23449: Book addict icon (allwaswell - fred)

[identity profile] 2008-06-21 04:30 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you!